Forgotten TV Pilots

(Un)Caged Animals Nicolas Cage pits three organic farms against each other each week in order to earn the Cage KKL (Kitemark for Kindness to Livestock). Challenges include 'slow egg laying', 'ninja chick sexing' and 'wire-in the chicken coop's motion-detector'. Cage appears each week dressed as a different species of shark. Celebrity judges include Emilia Fox, Colonel … Continue reading Forgotten TV Pilots



Just as I finish explaining What relative clauses are, It flies in. A tiny drunken tourist, Buzzing languidly, Its insect hangover brewing, And its first-day-of-summer sunburn smarting. It tries each of the windows in turn. Attack! No luck. Attack! No luck. Attack! Still no luck. They were merely transparent enemies. Incited, Excited, It scans the … Continue reading Wasp

Making school productions meaningful: part 1

Following on from my hard-drive clear out where I unearthed this article on a baby & toddler class I set up in 2010, I also found this article, written and published as a general interest article for Promethean Planet in 2011. It might be useful/inspiring/deeply patronising* for primary teachers who are musically-inclined... or not. Seven years on, … Continue reading Making school productions meaningful: part 1

WANTED: Learning Imagineer @ InquirED Exemplar Academy

Location: InquirED Exemplar Academy (Voluntary Controlled), Arcadia Role: Learning Imagineer Salary: Entirely negotiable* Dear applicant, Please excuse this rant, But good staff are scant; We need you to enchant... Our students. I think it would be prudent, To give you some clues, So here's the news: Can you learning talk like you learning walk? D'you make eyebrows … Continue reading WANTED: Learning Imagineer @ InquirED Exemplar Academy

Four Yorkshire Primary Teachers

2048. Dinnertime. A primary school staffroom in Bradhuddersfax, a small rural megalopolis in the United Emirates of Yorkshire. FIRST YORKSHIRE TEACHER Aye, very passable, that - very passable locust-ham butty. SECOND YORKSHIRE TEACHER Aye indeed. And there's nothing like a good swig of reconstituted herbal tea before we get t' kids in from dinnertime, eh, … Continue reading Four Yorkshire Primary Teachers